


You Don't Understand

by evanderblake



Series: The Angst Series [4]
Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fem!Danny, M/M, Polygrumps, Sad, ShipGrumps, Whump, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14093511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanderblake/pseuds/evanderblake





	You Don't Understand

His gaze rested longingly on the sparkly, blue dress. It was short, sleeveless, with a sweetheart neckline… and he was infatuated. He stood outside Macy’s, staring at the dress with an open mouth, completely in love with the article of clothing before him.

And so he bought it. With the rest of his money.

Granted that wasn’t a whole lot of money, only about a hundred bucks, but that was his money for the rest of the week. And it was Monday. And there was no food in the house.

Shit.

He couldn’t return the dress. He just couldn’t. He was absolutely in love with it, and if Brian pitched a fit about how he’d never wear it, he would wear it every day for the rest of his life just to prove him wrong. This dress was worth it, worth skipping a week’s worth of meals. Worth the rage that he would be met with when Brian found out about it.

He walked into their home, and after finding it was empty, ran to his room and locked the door. He immediately stripped down and tugged the blue dress up over his hips and zipped up the side.

Danny turned around and looked in the mirror. He nodded once, then shed the dress, running into the bathroom connected to his room, only wearing a pair of underwear and his socks. He pulled out his razor and began shaving off the five o’ clock shadow that covered his jaw. He had to be as feminine as he could get.

He opened the cupboard beneath the sink and dug into his hidden stash of scented body washes that he had been hoarding. After rummaging through the bin, he settled on a scent called Moonlight Path, one of his personal favorites, and hopped in the shower, basking in the overwhelming floral scent that swirled around him.

Opening the shower curtain, he started at his bare body in the mirror. For a split second, doubt washed over him like a tidal wave. Should he really be wearing a dress? Using women’s soap? Wearing makeup? That stuff was all for girls. Not for a 39-year-old man.

And then he thought, you know what? Fuck that.

He toweled off and then got started on his makeup, which he had actually been getting pretty good at. YouTube videos were good enough teachers, and Dan was a fast learner. First primer, then concealer, then foundation, and finally he started on his eyes. Danny learned he was a fan of the more natural look, his eyes not being the right shape for flaunting eyeshadow. Instead, he used a more natural, peach shade, a bit lighter than his skin, and began staring down the eyeliner crayon.

He wasn’t good at eyeliner.

Removing the cap of the tool, he realized the crayon was too short to use, but also knew there was a way to push it up. He flipped it around in his hands, fumbling to find some magic button or dial or… something.

“How the fu— oh, there we go!”

The crayon swiveled upward, the nub growing taller and taller. Slowly but surely, he approached his eye with the crayon, his hands beginning to shake. Almost there and…

He poked himself right in the eye.

“Fuck,” he groaned, dropping the eyeliner onto the floor, hands flying up to cover his watering eye.

And then his eye wasn’t just watering, but he was crying.

He wasn’t a girl. He couldn’t pull this off. The dress looked like shit when it was on him. All his insecurities bubbled up and overflowed, translating into a desperate, whining sob.

That’s when Brian came home. Danny knew that he had heard his cries because fuck, who didn’t? He knew he was a loud crier, as did everyone on the goddamn block. Through the sobs, Danny could hear the soft knocking at the door.

“G-go away, Brian!” Danny shouted, falling back into his fit.

And then Brian was next to him, his arms around Danny’s shoulders, holding him tightly against his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Brian signed, the worry in his eyes piercing straight through Danny’s heart.

Danny just shook his head. He couldn’t tell Brian about this. He couldn’t tell him about the dress.

“Danny, what happened? Why are you crying?”

He sucked in a breath and tried to calm himself enough to choke out some words. He had to tell him. That’s what being a relationship was. If it wasn’t built on trust… then what was the point? “T-the d-dress…”

Brian’s head slowly turned to face the bedroom, noticing the gorgeous blue party dress lying on the bed. “What about it?” he asked.

Danny sank to the floor, kneeling down against the cool tile as if he were praying, or preparing for a tornado. Brian didn’t follow. He turned and walked out of the bathroom to the dress, picking the receipt out of the bag on the floor.

NVY COCKTAIL DRESS - $99.99

And Brian was filled with anger.

“You spent all our money on that dress?” he signed furiously, his eyes wide with… awe? Anger? Disgust? Perhaps all three.

He nodded wordlessly. What could he even say in defense? That it was too pretty to pass up? Bullshit. He knew that was bullshit.

“You have no self-control! What the fuck were you thinking? We don’t have enough money for food now, Danny!”

He continued to weep, but something deep inside him… snapped in that moment. It wasn’t long before his cries came to a halt. He picked himself up off the floor and looked deep into Brian’s eyes.

“You don’t understand,” he said calmly.

“You don’t understand? What the fuck don’t I understand, Daniel?” he retorted, his signing becoming sporadic.

“I needed this dress.” Where was he even going with this?

“Really?” Brian answered, short.

“Yes. It was… an impulse buy, I’ll admit, but I’ve been feeling like absolute garbage lately. Ever since we did the video for Eating Food in the Shower… I felt like I wasn’t good enough. And this dress is gonna fix that,” Danny explained. This was the most idiotic excuse he’d ever used.

And Brian wasn’t buying it.

“Bullshit. You really expect me to believe that? I live with you, Daniel! You’ve been more confident than ever! Ever since you started wearing that stupid makeup and since you started buying dresses and whatever the fuck, you’ve gotten way happier! You just bought that because you have no damn self-control!” Brian’s eyes were growing red along with the skin just beneath his eyes. Danny had never seen him so enraged.

“That’s not true! You know that’s not true! I’ve been in turmoil over this shit, dressing like a girl all the fuckin’ time! It’s been killing me Brian! I’m not pretty enough to pull this shit off! I’m not… I’m not a girl…” Danny admitted, and it was something he hadn’t been prepared to tell… well, anyone.

His appearance grew… smaller. Like he was closing in on himself. His confidence evaporated as soon as it had appeared.

Brian didn’t say anything for a long time. He examined Danny’s face, trying to determine whether or not that was the truth.

“Why the hell… didn’t you tell me about this?” Brian asked, now much calmer.

He shrugged, “I guess… I didn’t realize I’d been feeling this way.”

Brian shook his head. He wanted so desperately to comfort his boyfriend, to reach out and hug him and reassure him.

But his words betrayed him.

“Danny, you need to get your shit together. I can’t… keep putting up with this. I feel like every time I come home you’ve screwed us over in a whole new way. And I just… I don’t have it in me to keep fixing all your fucking issues.”

He could almost hear Danny’s heart shatter.

He certainly saw it.

But he turned his back before Danny’s knees hit the ground.

And he was out the door before he was deafened by the screams.


End file.
